Every woman I know remembers the first time someone called her “too much.” Too loud, too opinionated, too strong. Funny how nobody complains when we’re carrying the mental load of three jobs, two kids, and a dog that eats homework for fun.
Picture this: a woman in a black one-piece with white trim, standing against a white wall. Long wavy hair, head turned over her shoulder, eyes straight into the camera. Pockets on her hips, trainers on her feet, lush green foliage behind her and a concrete path ready for whatever she’s walking toward next. She’s not trying to be small. She’s taking up her space and she damn well knows she’s earned it.
That’s what this is about. Not the clothes themselves, but the standards behind them. Because as Marilyn supposedly said, “Strong women don’t have attitudes, we have standards.” And I’m not lowering mine for anyone.
Strong Women Don’t Lower Standards – They Raise Them
Here’s the thing: calling a woman “difficult” is usually just code for “she has boundaries.” Same goes for when you care about what goes on your body. People love to label it “fussy” or “high-maintenance” when you refuse to be uncomfortable just to keep the peace.
I’m a mum. I’ve been on stage in a harness hanging from a roof, and I’ve been on the floor trying to find a lost Lego under the couch. Both require strength. Neither leaves much room for pretending.
So let’s talk about standards – the real ones. Not the Instagram “self-care” posters, but the stuff you feel at 6 a.m. when your alarm goes off and your kid already needs you.
5 Standards I’m Done Apologising For
1. How I Talk To Myself
If anyone spoke to my kids the way I used to speak to myself in the mirror, we’d have a problem. So why was I tolerating it from me?
Standard number one: no more trash talk in my own head. That mum tum, those stretch marks, the soft bits and the strong bits – they’re not negotiation material. They’re evidence. Of survival. Of life. Of the thousand times you showed up when you were tired, hurt, or scared.
You don’t have to love every angle of your body. But you sure as hell don’t get to bully it anymore.
2. Who Gets Access To My Energy
Strong doesn’t mean available 24/7. It doesn’t mean everyone gets a piece of you whenever they want it.
Standard number two: access is earned. If someone consistently drains you, talks down to you, or makes you feel like you have to shrink to be tolerated, they don’t get a front-row seat in your life.
No is a complete sentence. So is “Not today.” And so is walking away in your gym gear, phone on silent, going for a walk because you need ten minutes to hear your own thoughts.
3. What My Body Is For
I spent too long treating my body like it existed to be looked at. Then I carried babies, lifted gear, did shows, healed from injuries, and watched friends fight like hell just to stay alive. It changed the stakes.
Standard number three: my body is not decor. It’s not a “before and after.” It’s an instrument. It climbs stairs with a laundry basket, deadlifts toddlers, dances in the kitchen, and maybe hits a squat rack when it can.
So when I move, I’m not chasing pretty. I’m chasing power, breath, and that quiet little voice that says, “Damn, I did that.”
4. What I Put On My Body
Here’s where it gets practical. Because it’s hard to feel powerful if your clothes fight you all day. Digging in, trapping you, making you suck everything in just to leave the house – that’s not strength, that’s punishment.
Standard number four: if it doesn’t let me breathe, bend, chase my kids, and carry my life, it doesn’t deserve a hanger in my closet.
That’s why I’m all in on pieces that actually work with my day, not against it. Like the Shaper Move Leggings + Pockets - Black - Full Length | Mum Tum Hiding. They’re not just leggings – they’re built to lift, shape, and highlight you so you can perform at your best, every single day. School run, workout, grocery store, sitting on the floor building a wonky Lego city – they’re made to move with you, not police your body.
And yes, the pockets matter. Because if I’m carrying everyone’s snacks, keys, and half the house, the least my clothes can do is carry their share.
At around $45, they’re not a fantasy piece you wear once for a picture. They’re the “every single day” gear you grab without thinking, because you know they’ll keep up.
5. How My Kids See Me Treat Myself
My kids are watching everything. Not the speech I give them about confidence, but the way I look at myself in the mirror. The way I talk about my jeans not fitting. The way I either skip the workout because I’m “too tired” or do ten minutes anyway because I promised myself I would.
Standard number five: I’m done teaching them that mum disappears. I’d rather they see a woman who takes up space, sets boundaries, and wears clothes that let her play soccer, climb playgrounds, and say yes to life.
If they grow up thinking strong women have standards – about their time, their hearts, and their leggings – I’m good with that.
Turning Standards Into Daily Choices
None of this has to be dramatic. You don’t need a total life makeover by Monday. Start small, but start real.
- Catch one nasty thought about your body and replace it with something true, not cruel.
- Say no to one thing this week that drains you for no good reason.
- Move your body in a way that feels like power, not punishment – five minutes counts.
- Pull out one piece of clothing that makes you dread getting dressed and retire it for good.
- Replace it with something that actually supports you – maybe that’s a pair of everyday leggings with pockets that let you live wide open.
If you’re ready to level up your “uniform,” starting with one solid piece is enough. For a lot of busy mums, that’s a pair of black, full length leggings they can trust to lift, shape, and highlight what’s already there – like the Shaper Move Leggings + Pockets - Black - Full Length | Mum Tum Hiding.
Try one standard on for size – in your mindset, in your boundaries, or in your wardrobe. Then notice how it feels to stop apologising and start expecting more. From your clothes. From your day. From the world that keeps asking you to be smaller.
You are not too much. You’re finally matching your life to your standards. Keep going.